Pulling Masks Off Common Religious Fallacies
Rethinking Major Religious Narratives
Photo by Наталия Котович (Nataliya Kotovitch) on Pexels
Growing up in a religious community exposed me to a myriad of ideas, several of which I have since recognized as unrealistic and unhealthy.
The leaders of the community I was part of communicated some of these, genuinely believing them to be truthful and beneficial. Others were not explicitly preached but were rather propagated by members of the community. Both types of ideas formed the foundation of my worldview.
It is impossible to overstate the importance of religious and spiritual communities, which provide us with a sense of belonging, identity, and shared values. Christian communities specifically (such as the one I grew up in) offer immense opportunities for personal transformation, compassion, hope, charity and a sense of purpose in life.
Unquestionably, I benefited a lot, too. My church provided me with unconditional support and acceptance. This was crucial for me in my challenging family-of-origin situation (more about it here); it was a lifesaver. The faith I embraced in those vulnerable years gave me much-needed hope, instilling in me the belief that, in the end, all things will work out for the best.
However, I was also exposed to misconceptions. This scenario is not exclusive to religious communities by the way; it parallels experiences in other subcultures where I have belonged. It might take time for one to recognize that some of the ideas preached and circulated have inherent flaws that can subtly hinder one’s growth.
My journey out of such misconceptions was unsettling, to say the least. I needed to separate the beneficial aspects of my belonging to this Christian community from the unhealthy ingredients. I took one step at a time.
One of the first eye-opening instances occurred during a burnout period in my life. Faced with the need for alternative healing paths, I had to reconsider my prior caution towards energy healing (in the past, I had been taught to be careful about it, as I didn’t know whether it stemmed from God or the devil). I quickly realized that the alternative healer who helped me during those challenging times never explicitly mentioned Christianity or Jesus. Yet, the healing I received through her was real; her deep spirituality, which was present in her deeds (though not evident in her talk) impressed me. That was my first red pill.
Then I challenged the binary thinking inherent in a myriad of concepts I had previously embraced. On multiple occasions, I felt these concepts limited the scope of my thoughts and actions; they didn’t help me make complex relationship choices, for example. I also found that relying on my intuition (gut feeling) was more valuable as a life guide than categorizing individuals as believers or non-believers (with believers previously considered supposedly more trustworthy). I learned that it’s not necessary to prioritize spirit over physical sensations as our physical bodies can give us the most accurate signals about which path we should take in life.
Thus the long, unlearning curve gradually led me to the positive conclusions I present below. Each of these conclusions represents a careful reassessment of my earlier misconceptions.
I will begin by listing my newly acquired beliefs. Afterward, I will juxtapose them with their corresponding misconceptions, which I will cautiously debunk one after another.
True spirituality resides in and encompasses the body.
There is no spirituality out of and without our bodies. If it were different, God wouldn’t have given us bodies to live on this planet in the first place. This idea is supported by the Scriptures (the body is a Holy Temple) and is also a key insight in therapy, where our mental and physical well-being are indelibly intertwined. In healing, it is needed to consider both for long-lasting effects.
I was taught the opposite, however. It seems that religious priority order downplays our bodies and feelings. Placing exclusive importance on the spirit belittles the body (the flesh) with its physical sensations, feelings, and pleasures. That was an integral part of many Christian sermons I listened to, too, as well as was circulated by members of the community. Even though feelings and emotions are inherent in all human beings, if our faith contradicted what our feelings told us, we, as believers, had to ignore them. I have written extensively about this here.
In time I found that this framework was far from conducive to my healing. Hence my subsequent journey into holistic and energy therapy, whose objective is bringing the body and soul back into harmony. I needed to stop opposing the body to the spirit, dropping the concept of their hierarchical order.
Disconnecting the soul from the body is similar to what happens during significant emotional and physical trauma. Regrettably, conventional medicine also tends to do this by rigidly compartmentalizing the body into its parts, ignoring the crucial role of the human soul in both sickness and health. To be beneficial, however, all therapeutic and religious practices should work for one’s holistic well-being, instead of separating the spirit from the body — whether in action or preaching.
I personally strive to respect my body, take good care of it, and listen to its cues closely. This is the only way I have discovered I can get in tune with the essence of who I am — which is my spirit within me.
To grow spiritually, you need to want it. While mentors and authority figures can be beneficial, they are not obligatory.
Profound lessons can emerge from ordinary aspects of our lives, and even people who have caused us pain can serve as valuable teachers, as explored in detail here. It is impractical - and dangerous - to depend solely on external mentors for personal or professional development as human metamorphosis is mainly predicated on internal catalysts.
I was taught the opposite, however — that I needed someone in charge of my spiritual growth. The insistence on spiritual authorities gave rise to unhealthy “I know better” and “I am more spiritual than you” attitudes in my spiritual community. Such sentiments unavoidably pose risks of manipulation and emotional control.
Interestingly, in food diet groups this phenomenon is present as well. Individuals who have been on a particular food regime for a long time claim they are in a position to tell novices what to eat, plus how and when to eat it. While nutritious advice is welcome when people are lost in their struggle with sicknesses, making them dependent on your nutritious expertise is no good. The end goal, ideally, should be to support them in learning to listen to their bodies; to listen to what foods, in particular, they need, at what time, and in what quantities, rather than making them depend on your discernment forever. All counseling and therapy should maintain the latter as their goal.
Spirituality is a personal and sacred inward journey. It cannot be externally measured.
The richness of spirituality lies in its personal and subjective nature. Self-discovery and a deep connection to one’s beliefs are its major facets. There cannot be any gauging of spirituality. External evaluation risks unhealthy comparisons to others and slipping into low self-esteem.
In the sermons I attended during my childhood, however, certain behaviors were nominated as more spiritual than others. For example, praying and reading scriptures daily was supposedly more spiritual than other activities in life. This made people compare themselves to others as in “See how spiritual this person is, they are praying day and night.”
For me personally, the repercussions of such a mindset extended far beyond the church realm. For example, I still need to pause today and consider the fact that the people who teach or mentor me today, are not representatives of a higher and better class of human beings. They may deserve the utmost respect for their role in my life but still, they are just humans. They are neither more special, nor more spiritual, nor necessarily more awakened than other people. Spiritual hierarchy is not real.
This has been an immense realization for me and one which is utterly liberating!
Additionally, I have discovered that all our life activities are of a profound spiritual essence. We cannot grade their spirituality on a scale, whether qualitatively or quantitatively. Engaging in work, connecting with family and others, intimate relations, raising children, caring for elders, tending to our homes, and growing and cooking food— all these are inherently spiritual activities, to name just a handful.
Financial success comes from hard work, skills, and smart choices.
To achieve prosperity, however, there is no obligation for mandatory donations to any specific organization, unlike what I was told as I grew up. My donation to the church was a necessary condition for my prosperity.
Today I see this for what it is — a distorted view of faith. Undue emphasis on tithing, pressuring members to give beyond their means with the pretext that this will help them prosper, is misleading. Truth be told, the concept of tithing is in the Bible; however, it remains controversial in modern times.
One obvious reason for the latter is that giving money to the church rarely makes rich people wealthy. Secondly, money-making principles are not determined by whether one contributes to a spiritual community. They aren’t at all subject to what kind of religion/faith one holds.
Every individual and community has the right to charge money for their services as all of us subsist on our labor. Truth be told, in the case of my religious community, our founders worked non-stop and many times unsalaried for us, members of the community. Again, I benefited significantly from their work, service and open hearts for me and my family, which I am grateful for. However, if one decides to charge money for their services, it is best to do so without misleading people about things they can’t deliver. Simply put, you can’t promise people material wealth in exchange for donations. It just does not work like this.
What one needs to believe is that success is possible and that one’s labor deserves a good reward. Approaching life with trust rather than obligation is a much better ideal to strive towards, in my opinion. It also makes navigating the enormous responsibilities our lives entail much easier.
I choose to embrace an inclusive mentality, where each person’s journey is special, rather than a ‘saving’ mentality.
A person has a distinct set of needs, awareness, and choice-making mechanisms. All of these are dynamic and constantly evolving. Therefore, human paths are richly diverse. Rather than I know better than you attitudes, this realization invites mutual respect and admiration for me today.
I grew up, immersed in a conflicting kind of mindset, though, i.e. the us vs. them worldview. This is something that was not explicitly preached in the church. However, the endless insistence on some people being saved with the rest being unsaved created an involuntary sense of superiority among the saved and encouraged them to “save” others as well. The latter, sadly, worsened the codependency pathologies already present in some.
I have witnessed this in other groups as well, i.e. foods, healing modalities, and alternative education groups. Once someone finds a solution that works effectively for them, they start banging their “Holy Grail” on everyone’s heads.
Variations are endless, including born-again vs. not born-again Christians, awakened vs. those not awakened, animal protein eaters vs. vegans, those vaccinated vs. those unvaccinated. The list goes on and on, with one group always somehow morally superior to the other (sadly, indicative of the notorious “divide and control” phenomenon in human cultures).
Dividing people into two groups fosters an unrealistic view of life. Such categories do not exist in reality. People are just people no matter what they believe or don’t believe in. They either behave like humans or they behave like sh*t and this is all there is to it. What they say, preach, or believe is of secondary importance - if of any at all.
Such black-and-white (binary) thinking seems to be ingrained in human nature. It gives one a much-needed security in life, protecting us from further injurious experiences. Logical dualism may be culture-specific, too, being a bit more prevalent in Western culture. Conversely, Eastern thinking tends to emphasize interconnectedness and the interplay of opposites (Yin and Yang).
I believe both approaches have their role in our lives. Ideally, shedding pre-set mental categories provides the opportunity to appreciate people and upcoming life experiences as they are — fresh, raw, and exciting phenomena to get acquainted with and learn from.
The world is our sacred space for exploration and creation.
While each of us starts on our journey from the base camp (and limitations) of our families, subcultures, and ultimately national cultures, the sky is the limit as to our possibilities of expansion and growth.
On the flip side, numerous subcultures impose constraints on individual exploration. These constraints were not explicitly imposed in preaching to my church in particular. Still, the division between believers and the rest of the world by inference made the world seem more frightening and hazardous than necessary. For example, at times, I was encouraged by members of the community to stick to “morally superior” sources like the Bible, dismissing other literature as too secular. While other young people were out experimenting with various interests, I was suspicious of these, as they might divert me from the only truthful path in life.
The belief of having found the ultimate truth carries more risks than one might realize. Such a mindset traps and hinders individuals from relying on their intuition to guide them further along. Anybody who professes ideas alternative to what one had been taught is seen as a threat, as they might sway one away from the Truth. This is clearly seen in politics, business, education, and many other spheres in our lives.
Needless to say, fear leads to stagnation; stagnation kills curiosity and progress. To keep learning and growing, we need to remain open to new ideas throughout our lives. This is an apparent fact. Rules and recommendations on how individuals should live their lives may offer a moral compass and a sense of purpose; it helps believers deal with life’s complexities. However, they restrict individual choices and narrow one’s horizons, making it a delicate balance.
Maturity involves mustering the courage to venture into the world and explore our truths. In many cases, this entails diverging from the teachings of authorities such as parents, teachers, mentors, and spiritual leaders.
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In conclusion, it is necessary to approach discussions about religious communities with sensitivity and an understanding that any deceptive ideas are not representative of the entire (Christian, another religious, or non-religious) group.
In my experience, many of the above misconceptions were freely preached among members of the church I attended and not directly by the formal leaders. The present essay focuses on my understanding of what was freely proliferated among the community and on shaking off beliefs I have identified as fallacies over time.
Unlearning hasn’t been easy as I was spoon-fed these in my formative years. At times it felt like I was abandoning everything I knew. I kept separating the wheat from the chaff anyway, aiming to recover my inner personal authority.
I like the way James Hollis PhD, Jungian analyst, defines such a process: “The single most important task of the second half of life is the recovery of personal authority, and mobilizing the courage and resources to live our truth in the world.”
Today I identify myself as a Christian. I conceive God as a personal, loving deity with whom I can interact directly — a cherished lesson from my childhood in church. My connection with God is through inner seeking, prayer, and meditation.
My journey has instilled in me an aspiration to remain open to the diverse lessons of life and its rich nuances. I acknowledge that each person’s life path is distinct and that acceptance of truth is a very personal process. No one will accept any truth unless they recognize they need it. Personal growth is a self-governing phenomenon, mostly unaffected by external groups or agendas.
Thank you for reading.
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